May 21, 2012

BEFORE YOU READ: I need to vent. My thoughts have become over whelming. I need to do something. I need to reach too people. I hope you guys can just read and STFU no comments. Unless you are trying too help me. 

 Lately, I have felt as though I am drifting away from the people I was once close too. I feel like my world has become smaller. I try to smile all the time but tears fall instead. The go lucky girl I once knew is fading. I am quieter and hiding my feelings. I am trying to go on but life has become hard. I want to be alone but that is nearly impossible. Every where I turn someone is there. My thoughts have become filled with questions and no answers. Concentrating has become hard I can't read and do math with out messing up anymore. My school work I think has began too suffer. My mind is just in lost. I am on a roller coaster I just want to get off. I want too leave it. It isn't fun anymore. I have a headache and I am sick of it. What must I do to feel like myself again? Will I remain like this forever? Am I going through a stage? No, no I can't be, but would cause me too think like this? Where has my real smile gone. Where have I gone. I need something or someone too fix this. To help me... I don't I can do this on my own. I don't think I can be happy by myself. I need to be able to confine in someone. I need someone I can open my WHOLE heart too not just pieces and bits of it. I need to be able to have someone understand me and not be questioned for my thoughts and feelings. I need to feel loved. I do know don't get me wrong. I have a whole family who loves me believe me I know I have their love and support. But I have always felt as though my thoughts and feelings have never been understood by someone. I am always hiding my true feelings and making people like me. I feel as though I am just there for most people. I feel as though I will be throne out too the trash one day. All alone with no one. I am just me. But no one understands. No one, why? Why am I always misunderstood. Why, is the world I knew just tossed to the side because people didn't like their life. Why did they have too affect mines. WHY, must I have a super ego family who doesn't give two craps about anyone else but themselves. Why do people constantly talk crap behind my back. Why are people fake and liars. Why must people question my beliefs.  I just want too be me. But it has become harder as the days pass by. I hope one day I will be able to smile and mean it. I hope I will be me again. NO better than me. Someone I will be happy someone who isn't afraid anymore. Someone who can stand up too anyone and face anything. I will one day, I just have too push forward and move on and ONE DAY in the future. In the FAR future I will smile and be loved and someone or everyone will understand me. I will, I must be patient and hope for the best future.

                                                                    Kassandra Elizabeth Marinaro

4/21/2012 ; update.

Well , I just finished up this year FCATs, thank you lord. (:  Also on the 18th I was able to meet some family of my grandfather on my mother side which has never really happened. It was so much fun and I had a blast with my family. I have been super bored and want summer too come SOON. School in getting on my last nerve with all the work and all the DRAMA. With it being a small school you would have never have guess it would be filled with that much POINT less drama that everyone gets all worked up about for no reason. But whatever. For the last two summers I have been going to Texas , but I wont this summer. So? I might go to Utah to visit my daddy and Tammy or I might do something else. I don't know, but I do know I do want too leave Florida, this summer. AT LEAST Orlando. There is nothing to do in this wack state. (: I want Ohio . . . That seems fun . lol! Well , I am going to go to sleep cause I am really tired.

Small Update.

 Wow ' It has been forever hasn't? I been busy and lazy. Well not long ago MegaCon was in town and I went. It was fun♥ The inner nerd was set loose. I went with Brandon two of the days, then with Gladys, Lizzy, JoJo and Justin one day. I couldn't have been happier. I got to buy a mask and some other amazing stuff. I couldn't stop smiling the whole weekend.School is going okay? I mean it is school come on now. Passport is okay to a point but then on the other hand it can get annoying but the kids in my class always make it fun. My dad moved not to long ago to, he moved to Utah. . . I am going to miss him.

Top Ten Christmas Gifts(:

So I had some amazing gifts for Christmas ' but here are my favorite!

1. ANIME CONVENTION (from mom)
Even thou this doesn't come till Feb. it is still the best!

2. Art & Crafts (from mommy)
I love painting and creating things ' and even more with my friends!

3. Manga 's (from Aunt Lori and Chris)
Next 4 books in Naruto from Chris and the 1st books of two new series from Aunt Lori! I can't wait to read!

4. MONEY♥ (from Dad and Diane)
Well? What can I say! M O N E Y

5. C A N D Y (From a couple of people)
Guess who is on a sugar high?

6. New shift (from Mamaw)
Best thing to wear well chilling around the house!

7. Twister (From dad)
What? Now I will never be bored with friends over!

8. 20 Q (From dad)
Best when bored or on car trips!

9.Head Phones ( from Mom)
Nice ' kind!

10.Lotion (From the Munoz)
Best smelling things ever!

Things about me(:

Here are some things I think people should know about me ! 

• I am in love with Classic Disney movies.
• I am obsessed with Disney's princesses
• My Favorite Princess is Ariel 
• I hate Twilight with a passion
• I rather wear boots than Jordan's
• I am a country girl 
• I don't believe in god.
• I am scared of the dark. 
• I am addicted to facebook
• I actually LOVE school
• I hate to get bad grades. 
• I am an ANIME freak.
• I love video games
• I am a geek
• I can't stand for my glasses to get dirty
• I can't watch scary movies. 
• I hate how I look
• I live in a closet 
• I love Spanish music thou I don't understand it
• I love Country music
• I love Classical Rock & Rock
• I kinda like Rap , but it depends on the artist. 
• I am picky
• I have to have  ketchup or BBQ sauce  on most of my food.
• I hate fish
• I love kids
• I love to babysit
• I miss cheer-leading 
• My mom is my hero
•  I have 2 Nephews and a niece on the way
• I support our troops not the war.
• I have always wanted to brake an arm 
• I am loud
• I am crazy
• I am annoying 
• I can't stand fakes
• I am strong
• I can't stand crying in front of people
• I limit who I let in
• I smile no matter what
• I actually LOVED being home-schooled
• I have a fear of reptiles
• I love animals 
• I am obsessed with Japan
• I love NCIS , CIS , Law and Order and ECT.
• I hate a lot of people secretly
• I love my little sister

So that is all I can think of (:

Friday Night . . . at the Hospital .

Johnny with his bandages. 

  So, on Friday (Dec 2nd 2011) Right after Mama-Liz, Clarissa and Alexi came to pick me up, so I could spend the weekend with the Cardonas my adventure started. So, after getting packed up and into the Van, Mommy gets a call, Johnny boy is in the hospital. So we rush to see what was going on, when we get there Johnny and Josh where already there. Johnny covered in blood telling Mama to calm down so we all sat down and waited for like an hour before they got Johnny in to a room. When we got in the small room we waited another hour or so before anything was done.
  So during this wait time me and Alexis, decided with my money we would go get food and we did. We had some. really good hot wigs and fries. We relaxed in the cafeteria in till we decided to walk back, and when we did we just sat in the waiting room waiting and talking. During this time they had done an x-ray on Johnny's cuts to see if anything had cut his bones. Then we waited, and waited , and the glass did nothing.

Mines and Joshes Chicken & Fries.

  By this time Kati, had come, Papi had come to, So me , Kati, Josh, and Lexi had gotten money so we went back to the cafeteria. Me and Josh had a whole chicken, fries and drinks♥ After we ate and walked back, and  we went ahead and saw Johnny who was just bleeding. Then Josh left to go home really quick with Papi, Well I chilled with Mami and Johnny. Then Mami cleaned Johnny up because he was bleeding badly. Not long after that some guy came in and stitched Johnny up, and we FINALLY left. Ah ' So many jokes and sad times in a couple of hours.

This day taught me:
 1. The "Emergency" Room, is a joke.
 2. Hospital food is freaky good. 
 3. Even men wear purses (don't ask)
 4. Vending machines are jokes. 
 5. Johnny is one strong boy!!

Elizabeth Cardona(:

Me and Lizzy Last year!

Elizabeth Also know as Lizzy, is my best friend, Little sister, & partner in crime. She means the world to me. This little girl is crazy , out going & plain amazing. She always knows how to have a good time. She can get annoying sometime for sure but she makes me laughs and is always here for me no matter what. She is like 7 years old yet she asks so much older, but still that little girl at the same time.

She is also the biggest BRAT in the whole world. . . For real , she is. She get mad super fast , and well is annoying at times but she makes listens and be good when she is in a good (:

 She is my best friend, little sister & partner in crime till the end of time!!

 I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEE YOU LIZZY(: